The Most Important Thing
by rafayel-kun
Summary: Envy is confused. What is the most important thing in life? He goes to ask everyone... and gets various answers. Rated T to be safe. Oneshot.


_Envy is confused about what's the most important thing in life. Because, yanno, he's Envy. So he goes and asks his "siblings" for some answers._

"**Sexual manipulation**," Lust says maturely, sipping a cup of tea, her pinky finger up.

"**Me**," says Pride, filing his nails with the sharp teeth of his unleashed form.

Gluttony swallows a human hand, crunching the bones. "**Fewd!**"

Sloth looks around, blinking slowly. "**Hngrah? Sleep...**"

Wrath stabs a sword into the ground and looks up with hooded eyes. "**Calmly taking your revenge.**"

Greed laughs hysterically, his arms held out to encompass everything. "**Women! Sex! Money! Food! World domination!**"

_"...Oh," Envy says intelligently._

_Let's just say that he is still confused._

_He goes to the other Hagaren guys and asks them._

"**Mini-skirts!**" shouts Roy Mustang, a determined look on his face, fire in his eyes.

"**Family!**" cries Maes Hughes, showering everyone in pictures of his daughter.

Winry's eyes glitter as she cradles a wrench against her chest. "**Au - to - mail!**" she sings.

Pinako lets out twin streams of smoke from her nostrils, pulling the pipe from her mouth. "**Indulgences.**"

Alphonse runs around, chasing a fuzzy blur. "**Kitties!**"

"**Boobies**," says Havoc through a nosebleed as he stares at a magazine full of women. "**And cigarettes.**"

Armstrong whips off his shirt and flexes his gross muscles. "**The beauty that has been passed down to me through the Armstrong tradition!**"

Hawkeye pulls out her gun and cocks it, points it at Mustang. "**Being on time.**"

Barry the Chopper grins as he flourishes a large meat cleaver. "**Slicing and dicing, baby.**"

Mei cuddles her small panda friend to her. "**Xiaomei!**"

"**Eating as much as you can**," Ling Yao says, slurping up noodles and running to another stall.

"**Serving my master**," Lan Fan replies, grabbing hold of Ling's hair and pulling him back.

Automail-engineer Garfiel says, with a twinkle in his eye, "**My drop-dead gorgeous features.**"

Izumi crosses her arms and yells, "**MY HUSBAND!**"

Sig crosses his arms and yells, "**MY WIFE!**"

Olivier Armstrong brandishes her sword. "**The strength to protect my comrades.**"

Fuery blinks and holds up the phone he had been repairing. "**Communication?**"

Den barks. "**Woof!**"

Hayate barks. "**Woof!**"

Breda is at the top of a telephone pole, shaking, away from the dogs. "**Staying away from things you fear!**"

Kimbley laughs just like Greed had. "**Explosions! Destruction! Screaming! God, the screaming!**"

A voice comes out from under a pile of books. Sheska pokes her head out, breathing deeply. "**Reading!**"

"**Running away!**" Yoki cries, arms in the air, being chased by one of the dogs.

"**Replacing what you have lost with something better**," says the cool voice of Buccaneer, posing in the setting sun, his automail gleaming.

"**Doing what is right, even if it's looked down upon by everyone else**," replies Miles, pushing back his sunglasses.

Grumman laughs happily as he sifts through a chest full of clothes and wigs. "**The thrill of being incognito!**"

Paninya laughs as she runs off with a certain State Alchemist watch. "**Grabbing what you can, when you can!**"

Edward runs after her, his shorter legs making him considerably slower. "**Getting taller!**"

Falman walks around with his nose in a book and collides with a wall. He rubs his nose. "**Memorization.**"

Scar glares silently, a blush on his cheeks, as he looks at Al's kitten and Mei's panda. "**Cute... fluffy... things...**"

"**God!**" says Rose, her hands clasped, eyes shining with inner stars.

_Envy has learned nothing from his survey and trudges back home, despondent and confused as ever._

_...But wait. He pauses and his mind sparks to life._

_He grins and starts to skip away._

**The most important thing in life is what you want it to be.**


End file.
